Starting with January, I moved back to my hometown hoping for a refreshing and new beginning to the year. My husband and I moved into a small two bedroom mobile home which we furnished by frequenting household auctions and purchasing antiques and more artistic pieces.
February and March were interesting months. We pulled RV campers across the United States and Canada which afforded us the opportunity see many things and places that we probably would never had the funds or desire to see. We saw some things that took our breath away and we saw some things that left us speechless because of it's beauty or because of the lack of care that some people possess.
In April, my father passed away unexpectedly in a traffic accident in Nebraska while traveling to Utah. A man that loved whole heartedly and lived life to its absolute fullness who had taught me so many things and was in the prime of his life was gone and all I could do was pick up all of his responsibilities and see them through with no time to grieve. Three weeks later, my mother called to tell me that her husband was leaving her.
May through September held so many events that left our heads spinning and wondering what in the world we could had done to deserve so many misfortunes.
My husband lost his job, his oldest daughter accused him of doing things to her that was impossible given our schedule of visitation and that our three other children were always present and adamantly profess that nothing happened. Fighting with insurance companies to do their jobs when they asked for unheard of documentation to prove that a man lost his life and taking more than six months to pay out for accidental death policies.
October through December still fighting CPS on a he said - she said case in which I realized that a stepmother has no rights and will not be heard, nor will the two children that she has. All the while the entire family is torn into pieces emotionally.
Christmas came and went. At least two of the children were smiles, hugging their stepfather who tries so hard to fight back tears and anger. A six year old boy and 13 year old girl sat on the floor at our feet and told us how much they loved us and that was the best gift in the world that anyone could have ever asked for.
My best friend of nearly 30 years asked me what my husband bought me for Christmas. I laughed and she sat seriously awaiting my response. I told her that we both decided that we wouldn't buy gifts for eachother because we had legal fees to tend to and more importantly utility bills and everyday responsibilities.
We spent most of the year living on the tax refunds that we received at the beginning of the year and the paychecks that we had socked away for a long overdue vacation that we could never take, the small amount of money that I made from my photography career and writing career.
Sitting on the sofa after my exhusband picked up our son and my daughter has left for the next three days to spend that time with her father, I reflect on our "series of unfortunate events" and realize that through all of this that I still have the ability to fill my lungs with air and exhale slowly. I fully comprehend the severity of the things that have plagued us and still can smile when someone says something witty.
Through all of the things that have happened this year, we were able to love all of our children to the fullest of abilities. We were able to hold eachother and most importantly were able to keep hope alive.
I have always been able to pull myself from the ashes when things go wrong. I have always been able to find a way to smile after dusting myself and stand tall in the face adversity. Depression? (Laughs out loud) Who has time to be depressed?
When someone asks "How do you keep your sanity?" I ask them what they are talking about because this is life. Nothing ever goes like it's suppose to and if it does, well, praise God because it probably wasn't suppose to.
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